my favourite's

Friday, 25 October 2013

"Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.”

People who are a source of comfort to others have suffered the most pain. Those who smile to make others happy sometimes cries inwardly. They cry bitter and saddest tears alone and in front of Allah.
People who seem most strong to others often cry at nights. They have lived the heights of sadness and they know the real pain : people who comfort others !

I think people are sick and tired of having to apologize for being human. We are constantly made to feel bad for feeling bad. Our creator didn’t only create laughter; He also created tears. And they both serve a purpose. Let’s stop fragmenting the human experience.

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."-Khalil Gibran

When we want to see the depth of our relationship with some people , we measure it by the level of emptiness we feel without that person. We can talk with nearly anyone but feel the absence of only a few people: People who can't be replaced in our life.
Thats is the reason it is best said : Absence sharpens love

If you ever doubt that you will get thru this, just remember the past. Remember all the times you thought you'd never get thru, and yet He carried you to where you are now

Resilience is very different than being numb. Resilience means you experience, you feel, you fail, you hurt.
You fall. But, you keep going.

Nature is resilient. Leaves wilt , they fall, but again they recover by the grace of Allah. Everything in nature is in a healing process. Trees lose their leaves and fruits but they recover.
Same is our heart, Our heart is healed eventually. Thats why no one is sad forever !

Friday, 18 October 2013

Sunday, 13 October 2013

Each person who is in your life is for a reason. The Creator in His Infinite Wisdom has chosen each family member for a purpose. There is a lesson that you need to learn from this person. So ask yourself: what it is that I am meant to learn? Sometimes the thing we are meant to learn is how NOT to act. Once you embrace this concept and accept it- you can focus on the lesson rather than complain about the test.

Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from ~

Mindfulness is being able to let go of our fears, our attachments to control and being right, our expectations and entitlements, and our judgement of others. It's living in the HERE and NOW!

"The more secure a person is regarding his own acceptability,
the more certain his sense of who he is,
and the more safely internalized his system of values,
the more self confidently and effectively will he be able to offer his love...
without undue feelings of rejection and humiliation

With each passing day you are faced with a multitude of choices. The way you prioritize will effect how you choose.

If you make it a priority to always act according to your beliefs and to live up to your ideal, you will always respect yourself and feel at peace.

If you keep in mind that you are creating memories for yourself and your loved ones, you will make sure you don't act in a way that you will regret later. Create lasting and powerful memories that you can look back on and smile and feel a deep sense of gratitude not shame.

It is all the little things we do that makes a huge difference in the lives of our loved ones and in others:
Making an effort to be friendly
giving a sincere compliment
Sweet message
believing in someone
helping someone in need
Giving a loving hug
Appreciating hard work
Laughing at a good joke
Being present and attentive
Understanding setbacks
Small sentimental gifts

The ultimate loss is the loss of integrity and morals. Regardless of your circumstances never compromise on your morals and always keep your integrity. Remain steadfast on your beliefs and never change to fit in or to impress others. Living with this principle will fill your heart and mind with serenity.

It is so easy to say I trust my creator and I believe that He knows what's best for me, but this trust has to be demonstrated through our behavior and our acceptance of our destiny. It is never enough to proclaim our beliefs- it ALWAYS has to be supported by our actions. Next time you are tested: take a deep breath, make your first words be alhamdulillah (thank God) and show complete submission by not complaining.

There are times in life when our sense of security is shaken to the core: an unexpected event, death of a loved one, loss of a job or a sudden move. Our attitude and ability to accept our destiny will determine whether we rise to the occasion or fall to despair. Without having TRUST we would definitely feel lost and alone. When we cultivate a strong sense of trust we can remain at peace in the midst of the storm and hold on strong to hope.

When you have been wronged or mistreated is when your true character shines through.

Friday, 11 October 2013

Regardless of how many times you have been lied to, deceived or betrayed NEVER LOSE HOPE in the GOODNESS OF HUMANITY. Yes, there are weak, pathetic people out there who are only consumed with following their lusts- disregarding all morals & ethics. Those individuals will either live their lives in guilt and remorse or worse they will live a life of apathy. For every indecent person in the world there are dozens of good hearted, God conscious individuals who look beyond their own desires and truly want to live according to their beliefs. DON’T LET THE BAD ACTIONS OF A FEW JADE YOUR VIEW OF THE WORLD! Let’s be filled with hopefulness even when faced with the biggest challenges. When have you pleasantly been surprised by the goodness of humanity?

Our good health is something we generally take for granted until we get sick. Take the time to appreciate all the AMAZING blessings you have each and every day because if just one of your organs malfunctioned you would be down. As you numerate all that you are grateful for you will start feeling like the richest and happiest person around. Start making the list! Have you ever experienced being really sick then having a paradigm shift in your level of appreciation for your health and for life?

Only share what is in your heart with a genuinely caring individual who has wisdom and knowledge to advise you or else you will end up feeling empty and misunderstood.

Being able to see things from another person's perspective is so critical in becoming tolerant, understanding and sympathetic. The next time you are disagreeing with someone or you feel agitated because you are not getting your way: PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES AND SEE THEIR PERSPECTIVE. It takes maturity and self-discipline to step outside yourself to get a better understanding of the people & the world around you

Each and every one of us need to cultivate tolerance and respect for the opinions of others regardless how different or shocking the views may be. We CAN NOT judge others harshly because they are not our ideological clones. We need to live by our adult selves and respond to differences with the desire to understand NOT the desire to knock some sense into a person. There would be so much less violence and injustice if we just learned to embrace our differences and live side by side with mutual respect. We are after all brothers and sisters in humanity.

How have you been able to come to terms with the differences you witness in others and live peacefully amongst them?

Many times we have preconceived notions about others. We categorize them and then we expect them to act in certain ways. Many times this jeopardizes relationships. Give others a chance to redeem themselves, to improve and to change. If we always hold on to their old image we stand in the way of them making a breakthrough!

There is something very heart warming about bonding with a complete stranger due to a strong spiritual connection- you don't even have to speak the same language or speak at all but your hearts and souls speak volumes.

It is so easy to judge people by their appearances and stereotype. Take a moment and get to know the person before you judge. Many times you find that your perception of them was all wrong. Be proactive, initiate a conversation and watch your assumptions and stereotypes just fade away.

Sometimes there are 2 people who experience the same trauma but one will be haunted by it and the other one will be free from any scars. It is not the events in your life that shape you but your interpretation of those events that shape you. If you find meaning in the pain and see it as an opportunity to grow and learn you will overcome the obstacles and embrace the challenges in life.

Many times all we tend to focus on is the negative traits of the people around us. We judge, criticize, and correct with no mercy seeing ourselves as somehow superior or more knowledgeable. This is an act of ignorance.

The more we know the more humble it should make us. When our hearts are filled with compassion and love we will use the most gentle way to effect the hearts by giving constructive criticism. When our hearts are filled with pride and arrogance we will just want to prove others wrong by being harsh and unyielding making judgment calls on everyone around us.

If we spend all our energy and effort in improving ourselves we won't have too much time obsessing over other people's shortcomings.

Someone I know had a near death experience this week & was in a coma for many hours. It really got me to think about how unpredictable life is. None of us know how long we have to live. Treat the people in your life in such a manner that they will be left with the most beautiful memories & utilize your time so that they will be your ongoing charity. What can you change in yourself & in your actions knowing that each day may be your last?

One of the most important traits to have is TOLERANCE and ACCEPTANCE of people who are different from us. It's so easy to label others and see them as weird or inadequate because they don't meet our standards, but it takes a very mature, mindful and compassionate person to look beyond stereotypes and try to build bridges. I challenge you to demonstrate that tolerance & acceptance when faced with people who are different by having an open mind and an open heart and see what can come out of it!

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS ARE REAL and THEY WILL NOT JUST GO AWAY WITHOUT TREATMENT. There are a multitude of people who desperately need assessment and treatment for their issues yet family members are not supportive and they forbid it. There is a fear of having a stigma if a family member goes to a psychologist. As a society we have to overcome this fear and recognize the NECESSITY of this service just the way we realize the need for medical care.

My question is this: What would you think of people who deny their family members of medical attention when they are sick in fear of what people would say? If a person doesn't take their parents or their children who are suffering from pneumonia or cancer in hopes that the disease will simply go away with time - what would be your reaction?

Please support your loved ones with the gift of understanding and recognize their need for assessment and treatment from trustworthy specialists.

When we are faced with difficult family relationships it can really effect us emotionally. We can feel discouraged, lonely, frustrated or even angry. We may look around and see that others have it much easier than us - they don't have the same tests! That's when we have to realize that our creator has designed our tests specifically to suit our on-going spiritual and emotional growth. We are given 'couture problems' to fit our ever growing ego and it is through these impossible family members that our ego is somehow deflated or tamed. If all relationships are pleasant and enriching we may never reach our full potential to empathize, to be humble or to develop new coping skills. We need to embrace the difficult people in our lives and see them as an opportunity to learn and gain massive rewards through our patience!!!!

When you feel overwhelmed by troubles around you and everyone is hurting you learn to rise above the disputes. Imagine yourself in a hot air balloon rising above the trivialities, not hearing or seeing the people. As you rise, there will definitely be people who want to bring you down from your hot air balloon ride by throwing ropes to you. Simply don't accept it!

In all the years I have done therapy I have heard so many stories of abuse, betrayal and oppression that when I see someone who is angry, bitter or cold not only do I not take it personally I feel sympathy for the battles they must be fighting within.

When I see a cashier who is incapable of smiling, an irate driver or a depressed teacher instead of feeling outraged or offended by their behavior I reflect on the many things that may have happened to them to be so emotionally unstable: a fight with their spouse, abusive childhood, verbal abuse, tragic accident, loss of parents....the list can go on and on.

In making excuses for others like the Prophet Mohammad (peace and prayers upon him) has taught us, our hearts soften towards people who are silently suffering. Even those who are aggressive and ruthless are crying for help and need our understanding rather than our wrath.

Sending prayers for them to heal is much more productive and humane than picking a fight with them- they already have so much they are dealing with.

When have you been able to see through the rudeness or indifference and show sympathy?

With all the diversity, differences in opinions, ideological and religious differences it takes a really mature, wise and stable individual to search for a unifying thread in each person they encounter. It is much easier to label and blacklist a person.

It takes effort to fight your temptation to hate, it takes strength of character not to succumb to the desire to annihilate the person who opposes your world view, it takes humility to overcome your pride, but once you do you will feel elevated to a new level of consciousness, compassion & understanding. Your reaction to people who oppose you reflects how big or little of a person you are.

Search for things that unite you with others instead of hating the differences.

Instead of blaming your parents, your circumstances or the economy for your problems take ownership of your situation to create solutions. Live with purpose and passion

Do you want to connect with your loved ones? Put yourself in their shoes...I mean really try to see through their eyes and their perspective by keeping in mind their upbringing and their experiences. It's amazing how your heart will soften and your critical voice will turn off once you try to understand where they are coming from. When have you applied this & what magical outcome did it have?

Take the time to emotionally connect with the people around you. Many times we just go through the motions of life and we lack genuine connection. Listen to people's stories, find out what is matters to them and most importantly remember what they shared for HUGE EMOTIONAL DEPOSITS. Showing that you care and listening when someone is in need will never be forgotten!

Only when the hating stops can the healing begin.

When you look in the mirror ladies and nit pick about your features, complain about your complexion, eyes, nose, thighs, hips....who are you criticizing?
Most people say they are criticizing themselves, but in reality you are criticizing the One who created you.

Instead of complaining be thankful and see how your peace and self-esteem will grow. You are beautiful regardless of your size, shape or color. Celebrate what you have been given and start smiling at the reflection you see in the mirror.

Many times we have preconceived notions about others. We categorize them and then we expect them to act in certain ways. Many times this jeopardizes relationships. Give others a chance to redeem themselves, to improve and to change. If we always hold on to their old image we stand in the way of them making a breakthrough!

We all have buttons that can trigger the most unexpected reactions. When you are in a relationship where someone is toying with your buttons on purpose the best thing you can do is DEACTIVATE YOUR BUTTONS. The way you do that is not to react to your strong urge to react. Stay cool and in control and don't react. If you do this enough times you are training others while at the same time you train yourself to remain calm. Once you do this enough times then you will not allow others to press your buttons anymore- the remote is in your hands and the buttons have been deactivated!

If you have ever had anything precious taken away from you whether it was a loved one, a job, or your health, you know very well that through the loss you gained a new perspective. Deprivation leads to appreciation. Look at your losses as a chance to increase your sense of gratitude. But, don't wait for the losses in order to start appreciating.

It is inevitable that you will have problems in your relationships. The most effective ways to resolve conflict:
1. Listen with an open heart
2. First try to understand then be understood
3. Have compassion
4. Think win/win
5. Be mature & act like an adult
6. Act in a way that your creator will be pleased with you

Monday, 7 October 2013

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Please, Be Back..
-Sumaiah Ismail 
All rights reserved @Allah's presence 

It's been hours since they left,
I await, sitting on a floor that is cleft,
I wait not for a garment or toy,
Her embrace gives me joy.
He keeps telling me to aim high, 
Her voice is my lullaby,
They should be back by four-thirty,
What keeps them away for 'eternity'.
I run to my grandma hurriedly,
Who answers the phone call worriedly.
'Where is my mama?'
I ask her,
'Where is my papa?'
I enquire her,
Collapsing down completely,
She starts to sob inconsolably,
With a trembling voice that is weak,
Tears roll down her cheek,
She holds my arms so tight,
And says 'Everything's gonna be alright'.
I know not what she means, I glare at the TV screen,
People running here and there,
Black smoke everywhere,
But that's what I see everyday,
What difference does it make today?

And suddenly it hits,
A blow too hard to resist,
I feel it,
I sense it,
My world shatters into pieces.

So that's the reason she mourns,
Oh! I just wanna be alone!
Someone tell me,
This is not happening.
Please, someone tell me,
This is just a dream.
I feel my eyes drenching,
I sense my heart giving in,
No! No no! No no!
It can never ever be so.
I hopefully run to the doorsteps,
Hearing someone's footsteps,
My eyes scan the far horizon,
Searching those familiar faces.

I'm sure they will be back,
I know they will be back,
Oh God! Let them be back!

Picture of Peace

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest, perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?

The King chose the second picture. Do you know why?

Because, as explained by the King: "Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."

The Moral of the Story: Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace, contentment and joy in the world outside.

Allah (SWT) says in Noble Qur'an: "Those who believe and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction." (Surah al-Rad 13:28)

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Caring too much can make you try harder. But ironically, caring too much can also make you not try at all, out of fear failure.

"Do good and throw it into the sea, for even if the fish do not notice, God will."

Don't ever think you are worthless. Allah created you for a reason and that reasons was definitely NOT worthless.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

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"Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life. You have to forgive. You don’t have to like what happened, you don’t have to cherish the memories, you don’t have to hold on to the people and circumstances involved, but you do have to forgive them, let go, make peace with your past and move on with your present."
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"When we continue to let someone in our lives repeatedly hurt us, we are saying to them that they matter more to us than our self-respect and our dignity, and that if they continue with these types of behaviors that we'll continue to let them in our lives. In order to take a stand for ourselves we must be willing to part ways with people whom we know that we've given a significant amount of chances to. Though letting go can sometimes cause us a lot of pain, it's necessary for us to provide the best future possible for ourselves. Love yourself or no one else will."

As much as we must not delay to resolve matters between us, sadly at times we have no choice but to leave it for the Day of Reckoning.

if people only knew, they would rush to reconcile differences.

If saving an animal is so rewarding, imagine saving a human being...

There can be more than one way of doing things. A difference of opinion shouldn't create hatred amongst us.

The habit of "faultfinding" blinds us of all the goodness of others and gets to a stage where fault is found even where it does not exist.