Your Parents Deserve your Love
-Zeneefa Zaneer


A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

It is true that a mother goes through many difficulties yet it doesn’t mean a father doesn’t. It is true that prophet Muhammed (PBUH) told to love the mother more yet he (PBUH) didn’t tell not to love the father.
There have been many poems, stories and articles been written and dedicated to mothers yet there’s less when it comes to a father. A father’s love speaks less so we too discuss less about his love. I often come across the words saying ‘no love can be compared with a mother’s love’ or similar statuses. I stare at such statements with disagreement. I’m a mother so I should feel better yet my heart doesn’t let me to be partial. I’ve experienced the unconditional love of a father and now I experience my husband sheds his unconditional love over my children.
Yes, as a mother I know mothers go through difficult times from bearingchildren within them and bringing them up. They risk themselves to give birth to their children. When I was carrying my babies in me what I felt was, let them be safe no matter what happens to me. It is not a surprise to think so, every mother expect her child’s wellbeing. She sacrifices her sleep, her likings and every thing, almost everything. She forgets about her life while she takes care of other lives. The happiness of her is to see her children smile and be happy. She cries not for her pains but for her children’s. I have seen my mother being worried about her grandchildren where I have never seen her being panicked when something went wrong with us. She becomes brave to hold her pains within herself for her children. She courageously bears the agonies but she fails to bear the agonies her children face. When I had met with an accident, broke my ankle my mother was expecting her third child and she was close to her due, yet she walked miles carrying me to the doctor because it was during political distress in the country and had no means of transportation.
That was a mother; she scolds and screams at her children when they do something wrong because if she doesn’t correct them today someone else might correct them in future leaving scars and bruises.

So is it only a mother who goes through every difficulty? No, not at all! How can we simply forget the man behind her? How can we neglect his love? Yes, there are cruel fathers too who heartlessly neglect their children. But aren’t there any such mothers too? Yes there are. There are different kinds of human. There are criminals in the society, yet not every human being is a criminal. Likewise, there can be bad fathers and bad mothers but we cannot label every parent with same title.
Some says a father is like a sleeping partner in a company, he goes to work, earn, come back and sleeps. Wakes up and same routine begins every day. Do you think so? Do you know how difficult it is to earn a penny? How much of pressure they bear in themselves. They bottle up their agonies. They have pressure at working place as well as home. Yet he silently bears not letting others feel how depressed he is.

‘No storm is stronger than emotions of a father, no love is silence than his love, and no voice could be deep as the oceans as his.’
When he is emotionally blown it is stronger than a storm. That is because his love is not shown but stored. Have you seen a dam? What happens when the doors of the dams are open? His love is similar to that. SubhanAllah, trust me learn to feel him you will understand, every breath he drops down carries an amount of love for the family he cares. I’ve seen so many such fathers. To whom they sacrifice their age? For his children and family. I know, some of you would not agree…but as I’ve said there are good and bad people. There are mothers who protect their children like their own life but don’t we meet otherwise? Haven’t we heard of mothers who torture their children, who neglects for their enjoyment?
Although it is a custom here that meals are served first to the men in the family, we practice the other way. My husband always let me have my meals first while he looked after the kids and then he dines. Although he had to go to work early in the morning he woke up in midnight and had helped me to lullaby the infants. Even it happens now. When my children fall sick, it is he who panics a lot, why? Because of the love he has. I’ve seen him crying when my son was admitted in the hospital. I have never seen him broken the way he was then. I’ve heard my father has been the same kind. I still can remember my dad was the one who gave medicines for us and now I see the history being repeated.

The fathers I see do wash their children’s clothes, help them do homework, clean the house, cook and help the mothers in every possible way. The only thing they don’t do is bearing their children. That is the only difference between a father and a mother, so they need to be loved and cared. It’s our duty to understand them. Teenagers see their fathers as their greatest enemies, because fathers are strict. We feel more comfortable in communicating with mother than the father. At night, both my children come to me to hug and I see my husband bear it with a smile. Children feel more secure with their mother but it is the father who protects the family going through hard times, holding the pains and rejections by himself.

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood' "(17:23-24).

If you feel your father doesn’t deserve to be loved then ask Allah dua to make him better. No matter what they are, we have to learn to love them, if it looks impossible try not to hate and add them in your dua. From billions of people it is them that Allah has chosen to be your parents. So it doesn’t matter whether they showed you love or not, as a Muslim you have to learn to love and respect them. Be thankful for Allah for you are been blessed with parents because someone somewhere is wishing for one.
Seasons are different so are the human. Not two are the same, so learn to accept how they are. There might be untold pains and stories in their lives. People who are living in deserts have to bear the whether no matter how much they disliked. There are always alternative options rather than leaving that place.
Do you know when there’s a cavity in a tooth, the dentist does not extract it at once? Do you think it would be the same once a tooth is extracted? No, there’s a difference. There’s a difference in the procedure of chewing as well as the appearance of you. It is same with the bonds in life. Be thankful for what you have. Today’s’ bad father can turn into the best father tomorrow with Allah’s mercy. Never ever choose one over another, both your parents deserve to be loved and cared for they have been sacrificing their entire life to bring you up.

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

In this verse it talks about mother, for she carries the baby but as a grown up don’t you know that the father has a part in this production? Use your wisdom to understand life deeply rather just seeing it as it is.

No storm is stronger than emotions of a father, no love is silence than his love, and no voice could be deep as the oceans as his.

No quilt can give the warmth of a mother, no comfy mattress would be comfortable as her lap and no lullaby is a match for her gentle breath.

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A SHORT STORY FOR EVERYONE~~

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be sent to his mother who lived two hundred kilometres away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the pavement sobbing. He asked her what was wrong and she replied, "I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two rands." The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I will buy you a rose."

He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers. As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother." She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave, that of her mother who had died recently.

The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the delivery order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred kilometres to his mother's house.

Moral: Don't send artificial love to your parents with only lip service or gifts. Together with this, give them the respect and courtesy they desire. This is true love. They are your most precious treasure. Care for them. Once they leave this world then one can do nothing but regret and helplessly wish to be good to them.



Everything is
"Pre-Written"
but
with Prayers it can be
Re-Written"...
So
Live the Best
and
Leave the Rest to
ALLAH...




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‎~~ No Love Greater Than Mom's Love
No Care Greater Than Dad's Care ~~




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♣ My Parents

To Sons and Daughters,
Dear one...
The day that you see me old and I am already not, have patience and try to understand me …
If I get dirty when eating… if I can not dress… have patience. Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.
If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one times… do not interrupt me… listen to me.
When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the same story until you get to sleep…
When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me…

Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in order that you wanted to bath…
When you see my ignorance on new technologies… give me the necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile…
I taught you how to do so many things… to eat good, to dress well… to confront life…
When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our conversation… let me have the necessary time to remember… and if I cannot do it, do not become nervous… as the most important thing is not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you listening to me…
When my tired legs do not allow me walk...
… give me your hand… the same way I did when you gave your first steps.
Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived.
Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for you..
You must not feel sad, angry for seeing me near you. You must be next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did it when you started living.
Help me to walk… help me to end my way with love and patience. I will pay you by a smile and by the immense love I have had always for you.
I love you …

Your father




✦✦✦✦ Tears are prayers too. They travel to ALLAH when we can't speak ✦✦✦✦




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What Parents Say/What Parents Actually Mean
TO clear up any confusions

Make up your bed =Learn good habits

Clean up your room=Have order in your life

Be careful =You're precious to us

Don't drive fast= We couldnt bear to live without you

Get off the phone=Get Off the phone

Do your homework =Learn everything you can

Don't spend it all =Always keep some for emergencies

Its late =Get the rest you need

Pick up your clothes =Pick up your clothes

Good job in the recitation=You make me so proud

Keep water for the birds =Care for people and things other than yourself

Turn the light off when you leave =Be responsible

Finish your project =Use your gifts and talents to their fullest

You're growing so tall=You're getting close to leaving home

Take out the garbage=Take out the garbage

Islam and Quran is important =Be prepared for this life and hereafter

And one that should never be confused:

WE LOVE YOU =WE LOVE YOU




http://www.facebook.com/pages/Islam-For-Kids/122705147806615

Those of you who still have your mothers with you, this is something to ponder and to witness as your life unfolds. Those of you who, no longer have your mothers with you, this may be something that sparks a memory for you. Those of you who are mothers, this is something for you to think about as you move through life with your children. Those who have no children, this is something to think about when you encounter children along your life's path, as mothering is not relegated to a biological parent only!!!

***

The young mother set her foot on the path of life.

"Is this the long way?"

,she asked. And the guide said,

"Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young mother cried,

"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold.

The mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children,

"A little patience and we are there."

So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said,

"Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said,

"This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I have given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said,

"Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."

And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the mother said,

"This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children the awareness of Islaam."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said,

"I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone."

And the children said,

"You will always walk with us, mother, even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said,

"We cannot see her, but her example is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory, she is an example to be followed."

Your mother is the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks, she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.

TO ALL OUR MOTHERS. MAY WE NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED.

O ALLAH , forgive us and our parents, and reward them with the finest reward. O ALLAH elevate their position in the hereafter and this world. Make that which befalls them an expiation for their sins. O Allah, grant them residence in al-Firdows, the highest level of JannahParadise. , with the Prophets, the Siddeeqeen, and the Martyrs. Aameen.

Cute answer For a difficult question

Name thE court where all the big faults are forgiven in a second ??

A small child smiled and answered its
"My Mom's Heart"♥♥♥




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A Letter from "Mom n Dad"...

My child,

When I get old, I hope you understand '...n have patience with me
In case I break the plate, or spill soup on the table because I’m losing my eyesight, I hope you don’t yell at me.
Older people are sensitive, always having self pity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse 'n I can’t hear what you’re saying, I hope you don’t call me ‘Deaf!’
Please repeat what you said or write it down.

I’m sorry, my child.
I’m getting older.
When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up.
Like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk.
Please bear with me, when I keep repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you just keep listening to me.
Please don’t make fun of me, or get sick of listening to me.

Do you remember when you were little 'n you wanted a ballon? You repeated yourself over 'n over until you get what you wanted.
Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person.Please don’t force me to shower.
My body is weak.
Old people get sick easily when they’re cold. I hope I don’t gross you out.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to chase you around because you didn’t want to shower.
I hope you can be patient with me when I’m always cranky. It’s all part of getting old.
You’ll understand when you’re older.
'n if you have spare time, I hope we can talk even for a few minutes.
I’m always all by myself all the time, 'n have no one to talk to.
I know you’re busy with work.
Even if you’re not interested in my stories, please have time for me.

Do you remember when you were little? I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear.
When the time comes, 'n I get ill 'n bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take care of me.
I’m sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess.
I hope you have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life.
I’m not going to last much longer, anyway.
When the time of my death comes, I hope you hold my hand 'n give me strength to face death.

'n don’t worry..
When I finally meet our creator, I will whisper in his ear to bless you. Because you loved your Mom 'n Dad.
Thank you so much for your care.
We love you. ! ♥




http://www.facebook.com/pages/Islam-For-Kids/122705147806615

That night, Sue had a quarrel with her mum and without bringing anything with her, she ran out of the house. While she was walking on the street, she discovered that she did not have any money on her, not even a cent to make a phone call. As she was walking along the street, she spotted a noodle stall, it smells so nice, how she longs for a bowl. But, she has no money.

After awhile, the owner of the noodle stall seeing Sue standing in front of his stall for quite a long time, asked: 'Hey Miss, do you want a bowl of noodle?'

'But...but...I didn't bring any money with me...' she answered shyly.

'It's alright, I'll give you a treat.' The noodle vendor said, 'Come have a seat, I'll cook you a bowl of noodle.'

Not long after, the owner served Sue with a bowl of noodle and a plate of vegetables. Sue ate a few mouthfuls and she started to tear. 'What happened, young lady?' the owner asked.

'Nothing, I'm just touched!' Sue said while drying her tears. 'Even a stranger I met on the street would offer to cook a bowl of noodle and treat me! But... my own mother, after a quarrel chased me out of the house and asked me not to go back again. You as a complete stranger could show me care and concern while my own mother...she's so cruel.' She said to the owner.

The boss after hearing what Sue had said, replied with a sigh: 'Miss, how can you think that way? Ponder over this, I just cooked a bowl of noodle for you and you are so touched. Your mother had been cooking noodles and rice for you since you are young till now, why aren't you grateful to her? And you even quarrel with her?'

Sue was stunned upon hearing that. 'Why didn't I think of that? A bowl of noodle from a stranger and I'm so grateful but yet my own mother had been cooking for me for so many years and I'm not even showing the least concern about her. And because of a trivial matter, I quarrelled with her.' She finishes her noodle swiftly and braces herself up and march towards the direction of home.

As she was walking home, she thought to herself what she wants to tell her mum right now... 'Mum, I'm sorry, I know I'm at fault, please forgive me.'

Once she reached the doorstep, she saw her tired and anxious mother, frantically searching everywhere for her. When she spotted Sue, the first sentence which came out of her mouth is: 'Sue, come into the house quickly, I've the dinner ready and it'll be cold if you don't eat it now.' Right at that moment, Sue was unable to hold her tears anymore and she started weeping in front of her mum.

At times, we may be very grateful to other people around us for a little gesture they showed us, but to our close ones, especially our parents, it's a lifetime of gratefulness we have to remember.

We should never forget what our parents had done for us but often we treat that as a natural process for them to sacrifice for us. However, parent's love and care are the most valuable gift given to us since we were born. They don't expect any repayment from us for raising us but think about it .....do we treasure the unconditional sacrifice from our parents - and so we return to them their just dues.

‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).I love Islam




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A Parent's Promise
Sometimes I will correct you,
But remember it is because I love you.
At times I may seem unreasonable,
But I love you nonethless.
Often you may disagree with my value,
But don't forget my love.

My love will be there
Whatever you do,
Whatever you are,and
Whatever others might think of you.
It's forever

Saira glanced nervously at the clock on the kitchen wall. Five minutes before midnight.

"They should be home any time now," she thought as she put the finishing touches on the chocolate cake she was frosting. It was the first time in her12 years she had tried to make a cake from scratch, and to be honest, it wasn't exactly an aesthetic triumph. The cake was . . . well, lumpy. And the frosting was bitter, as if she had run out of sugar or something. Which, of course, she had.

And then there was the way the kitchen looked. Imagine a huge blender filled with all the fixings for chocolate cake -- including the requisite bowls, pans and utensils. Now imagine that the blender is turned on. High speed. With the lid off. Do you get the idea?

But Saira wasn't thinking about the mess. She had created something, a veritable phoenix of flour and sugar rising out of the kitchen clutter. She was anxious for her parents to return home, so she could present her anniversary gift to them. She turned off the kitchen lights and waited excitedly in the darkness. When at last she saw the flash of the car headlights, she positioned herself in the kitchen doorway. By the time she heard the key sliding into the front door, she was THIS CLOSE to exploding.

Her parents tried to slip in quietly, but Saira would have none of that. She flipped on the lights dramatically and trumpeted: "Ta-daaa!" She gestured grandly toward the kitchen table, where a slightly off-balance two-layer chocolate cake awaited their inspection.

But her mother's eyes never made it all the way to the table. "Just look at this mess!" she moaned. "How many times have I talked to you about cleaning up after yourself?"

"But Mom, I was only..."

"I should make you clean this up right now, but I'm too tired to stay up with you to make sure you get it done right," her mother said. "So you'll do it first thing in the morning."

"Honey," Saira's father interjected gently, "take a look at the table."

"I know -- it's a mess," his wife said coldly. "The whole kitchen is a disaster. I can't stand to look at it." She stormed up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.

For a few moments Saira and her father stood silently, neither one knowing what to say. At last she looked up at him, her eyes moist and red. "She never saw the cake," she said.

Unfortunately, Saira's mother isn't the only parent who suffers from Situational Timbercular Glaucoma -- the occasional inability to see the forest for the trees. From time to time we all allow ourselves to be blinded to issues of long-term significance by Stuff That Seems Awfully Important Right Now -- but isn't. Muddy shoes, lost lunch money and messy kitchens are troublesome, and they deserve their place among life's frustrations. But what's a little mud -- even on new carpet -- compared to a child's self- esteem? Is a lost dollar more valuable than a youngster's emerging dignity? And while kitchen sanitation is important, is it worth the sacrifice of tender feelings and relationships?

I'm not saying that our children don't need to learn responsibility, or to occasionally suffer the painful consequences of their own bad choices. Those lessons are vital, and need to be carefully taught. But as parents, we must never forget that we're not just teaching lessons -- we're teaching children. That means there are times when we really need to see the mess in the kitchen.

And times when we only need to see the cake.

A simple man tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his
First flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all
Take for granted when it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the
Airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never travelled by air
Before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same.
In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on
Lufthansa.

The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see
That I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his
Face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was
Preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from
Using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for
Window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.

He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy
Watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to
Me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and
It was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant
A great deal to him.

When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.
As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without
Understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses,
Toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have
Satisfied all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had
To make to accommodate many of our wishes?

Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?

Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we
Should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation,
We will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme
Parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed
A lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to
Ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when
They were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they
Experience all those and their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually
Answered back without patience.. When my daughter asks me something, I
Have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have
Felt at those moments.

Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take Care of our children, the same attention and same care need to be given
To our parents and elders.
Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for
Making him wait so long for this small dream.. I do realize how much he
Has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best
Possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does
Not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing
For their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too..

Take care of your parents.

In childhood they carried our burden and in their old age they become dependent upon us. May Allah allow us all to achieve Jannah by serving our parents.

Rabbighfir lii wali-waalidayya walilmum-iniina yauma yaquumul hisaab.

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." Surah Ibrahim (14:41)

A Poem for Parents ~ ♥

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

Heart Touching Essay.....(Silent msg to all)


A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write an essay about what they would like God to do for them...

At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, who had just walked in saw her crying and asked her: What happened?

She answered "Read this. It's one of my student's essay"

"Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television.

I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house.

Have my own special place, And have my family around ME.

To be taken seriously when I talk....

I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions.

I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.

Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And...

I want my brothers to fight to be with me...

I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.

And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much...

I just want to live like every TV set.

At that moment the husband said: 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!

She looked up at him and said: 'That essay is our son's!!!

Appreciation!


One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic

Achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research,
never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the

Youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?

" The youth answered,
"My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked,
" Where did your mother work?"

The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner.

The director requested the youth to show his hands.

The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes

Before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.

Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands,
and then see me tomorrow morning.*


The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested
his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings,
she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did
that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands.


Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.


This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his Graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.


That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"


The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'


The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings."

The youth said,
Number 1 , I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today.

Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.


The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of
Others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.


Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.


A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*


You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

25 WAYS TO TALK SO YOUR CHILDREN WILL LISTEN

A major part of discipline is learning how to talk with children. The way you talk to your child teaches him how to talk to others. Here are some talking tips we have learned with our children:

1. Connect before you direct
Before giving your child directions, squat to your child's eye level and engage your child in eye-to-eye contact to get his attention. Teach him how to focus: "Maryam, I need your eyes." "Bilal, I need your ears." Offer the same body language when listening to the child. Be sure not to make your eye contact so intense that your child perceives it as controlling rather than connecting.


2. Address the child
Open your request with the child's name, "ALi, will you please..."

3. Stay brief
We use the one-sentence rule: Put the main directive in the opening sentence. The longer you ramble, the more likely your child is to become parent-deaf. Too much talking is a very common mistake when dialoging about an issue. It gives the child the feeling that you're not quite sure what it is you want to say. If she can keep you talking she can get you sidetracked.

4. Stay simple
Use short sentences with one-syllable words. Listen to how kids communicate with each other and take note. When your child shows that glazed, disinterested look, you are no longer being understood.



5. Ask your child to repeat the request back to you
If he can't, it's too long or too complicated.



6. Make an offer the child can't refuse
You can reason with a two or three-year-old, especially to avoid power struggles. "Get dressed so you can go outside and play." Offer a reason for your request that is to the child's advantage, and one that is difficult to refuse. This gives her a reason to move out of her power position and do what you want her to do.




7. Be positive
Instead of "no running," try: "Inside we walk, outside you may run."



8. Begin your directives with "I want."
Instead of "Get down," say "I want you to get down." Instead of "Let Bilal have a turn," say "I want you to let Bilal have a turn now." This works well with children who want to please but don't like being ordered. By saying "I want," you give a reason for compliance rather than just an order.



9. "When...then."
"When you get your teeth brushed, then we'll begin the story." "When your work is finished, then you can watch TV." "When," which implies that you expect obedience, works better than "if," which suggests that the child has a choice when you don't mean to give him one.



10. Legs first, mouth second
Instead of hollering, "Turn off the TV, it's time for dinner!" walk into the room where your child is watching TV, join in with your child's interests for a few minutes, and then, during a commercial break, have your child turn off the TV. Going to your child conveys you're serious about your request; otherwise children interpret this as a mere preference.

11. Give choices
"Do you want to put your pajamas on or brush your teeth first?" "Red shirt or blue one?"




12. Speak developmentally correctly
The younger the child, the shorter and simpler your directives should be. Consider your child's level of understanding. For example, a common error parents make is asking a three-year- old, "Why did you do that?" Most adults can't always answer that question about their behavior. Try instead, "Let's talk about what you did."




13. Speak socially correctly
Even a two-year-old can learn "please." Expect your child to be polite. Children shouldn't feel manners are optional. Speak to your children the way you want them to speak to you.




14. Speak psychologically correctly
Threats and judgmental openers are likely to put the child on the defensive. "You" messages make a child clam up. "I" messages are non-accusing. Instead of "You'd better do this..." or "You must...," try "I would like...." or "I am so pleased when you..." Instead of "You need to clear the table," say "I need you to clear the table." Don't ask a leading question when a negative answer is not an option. "Will you please pick up your coat?" Just say, "Pick up your coat, please."




15. Write it
Reminders can evolve into nagging so easily, especially for preteens who feel being told things puts them in the slave category. Without saying a word you can communicate anything you need said. Talk with a pad and pencil. Leave humorous notes for your child. Then sit back and watch it happen.



16. Talk the child down
The louder your child yells, the softer you respond. Let your child ventilate while you interject timely comments: "I understand" or "Can I help?" Sometimes just having a caring listener available will wind down the tantrum. If you come in at his level, you have two tantrums to deal with. Be the adult for him.



17. Settle the listener
Before giving your directive, restore emotional equilibrium, otherwise you are wasting your time. Nothing sinks in when a child is an emotional wreck.



18. Replay your message
Toddlers need to be told a thousand times. Children under two have difficulty internalizing your directives. Most three- year-olds begin to internalize directives so that what you ask begins to sink in. Do less and less repeating as your child gets older. Preteens regard repetition as nagging.



19. Let your child complete the thought
Instead of "Don't leave your mess piled up," try: "Abdullah think of where you want to store your soccer stuff." Letting the child fill in the blanks is more likely to create a lasting lesson.

20. Use rhyme rules.
"If you hit, you must sit." Get your child to repeat them.




21. Give likable alternatives
You can't go by yourself to the park; but you can play in the neighbor's yard.

22. Give advance notice precisely 15 mins before leaving
"We are leaving in 15 minutes. Say bye-bye to the toys, bye-bye to the friends…"



23. Open up a closed child
Carefully chosen phrases open up closed little minds and mouths. Stick to topics that you know your child gets excited about. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no. Stick to specifics. Instead of "Did you have a good day at school today?" try "What is the most fun thing you did today?"




24. Use "When you…I feel…because…"
When you run away from mommy/daddy/baba in the store I feel worried because you might get lost.



25. Close the discussion
If a matter is really closed to discussion, say so. "I'm not changing my mind about this. Sorry." You'll save wear and tear on both you and your child. Reserve your "I mean business" tone of voice for when you do.

Parents

Give Your Parents Roses While The’re Alive, Not Dead.