Friday, 30 August 2013
I suspect that the most basic n powerful way 2 connect to another person is to listen.Just listen.Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given From the heart. When people r talking,there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they are saying. Care about it.Most times caring about it is even more imp than understanding it.....
“Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.”
10% of conflict is due to difference in opinion and 90% is due to wrong tone of voice~
Opinions are like wrist watches, Everyone's watch shows a bit different time from others... But everyone believes that his time is correct.
In life, we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unkempt promise, an unheard request, an irreparable loss, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable first love, still life is about being happy anyhow because everything in life can be summed up in just 3 words :::: "It goes on" :::
People walking past you like they just don’t care
Blinded with no feeling their empty souls laid bare
Despite the pain, the need you keep trudging on and let things be
You watch but can’t believe all the injustice that you see
Don’t be afraid of your light. Your strength. Shine on.
Don’t be afraid to speak out. The truth. Be strong.
Open up your heart show the real you. What you think. What you feel. Carry on.
Your journey is still going. Every step brings you closer to your time. Steady on.
Pour your energy with goodness onto the souls of man
Let your spirit shine reflecting your life’s real plan
It’s your choice each day to choose the wrong or the right
With gentleness, with wisdom you engage in the fight
Change your perception and look into your soul
See the truth, the beauty before life takes its toll
Dont let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. . . . . . .Relationships work best when they are balanced. . . . .
How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score?
Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly man who cannot open the door by himself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves.
There remains but two choices—help or ignore.
Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days.
But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket.
Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!
Think about that
There are days when I feel so bad thinking why we behave like we do sometimes - we never forgive the people around us.
Leave alone unfair conduct, we never even excuse any mistake, any blunder, or slip-up that anyone has had the misfortune to perform against us. The 'me' inside us feels slighted, injured, and swells up to much proportions it spills out of our beings insulting, disparaging, and sullying the name of the poor gaffer even though he or she might not have really meant it.
One mistake leads to an ugly reaction forming a continuous chain of repulsive behavior that vilifies not just the two involves but all those around them. All because we lack patience to bear any blow to our 'me'.
At such moments why do we choose to forget the example set by our Prophet (sallalahu aliehi wassalam) not once but on innumerable occasions: the old woman whose hatred for him made her throw garbage on his head every day and yet he visited her when she was sick; his welcoming with open arms sworn enemies who tried to kill him many times; his forgiveness to Jew who put a spell on him with his daughters and caused him a huge amount of pain and sickness; most of all the exoneration of all the kuffar of Makkah when that beloved place was conquered
near the end of his life.
Did Rassulullah not feel sorrow at being declared an outcast, or frightened at being persecuted? Or was he not able to retaliate by word or action? Indeed he was most eloquent of all people and most brave so he could have done both but he did what he knew
was loved by his Lord - forgive.
F-O-R-G-I-V-E a seven letter word, not easy mind you:), but if we bring this little word into our lives with the hope
that the Lord will bring it to His exalted lips on our last days, is too much to ask for? hmmm????
Something interesting—and quite disheartening—I’ve come to realize is that although we are surrounded by nature’s beauty, we fail not only to appreciate it, but we complain about it too. We reprimand its existence instead of giving our thanks to the One who has honored us with its presence. From these observations, something that I have learned is: we are never satisfied.
Have you noticed that regardless of what the weather may be—whether it be a damp spring morning, a blazing summer day, a breezy autumn evening, or a frosty winter night—we are always dissatisfied?
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there is no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this.
It has taken me along time to believe in the power of simple saying, "I am so sorry", when someone is in pain. And meaning it.
One of my friends told me that when she tried to tell his story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happen to them. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves. Eventually she stopped talking to most people.
May be these lines depict his feelings...
When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen.
Not to talk or do-just hear me.
It was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care.
The Prophet (Peace be up on him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other.
I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I always tried to inquired a person whose eyes were wet, I used to reach for tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief.
Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young.
I thought people listened only because they were too timid to speak or did not know the answer.
A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words.
"The first duty of love is to listen"
Remember me in your dua,
I love that everyone has a story. It’s easy to see someone being rude to you at a store and take it at face value. But if you sit down and talk with people, you realize everyone has a story. When you live with that in mind, you treat each other with more respect. Believe the best in people; we’re all going through stuff. People you would never expect to have a single hard day in their lives have been through some real tragedies.
There is no wisdom in a person who treats the world with kindness and care, yet goes home to a family and treats them with anger and disrespect. We should first smile at our families, and then the strangers on the street. We should spread cheer to our neighbors first, and then our colleagues at work.
"I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number. ~
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or what you want to become. You never know who these people may be; your relative, neighbor, teacher, long lost friend, or even a complete stranger who will affect your life in some profound way.
Its just meaningless to except anyone to be of your kind, because you cannot hold their right hand in your right hand to walk.
Psychologists tell us that human beings go through five stages of emotion when struck with a calamity. Understanding the different stages of grief minimizes the first four stages (which are denial, anger, bargaining and depression) and gets us to the final stage – which is acceptance. I went through these stages on many different occasions, as I am sure you have.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian.
The one who compares u with others is not aware of ur worth because the indication of sincerity arises from the concept of you being Matchless ....
Life is like a coin..Pleasure & pain are the 2 sides... Only 1 side is visible at a time...But remember other side is also waiting for its turn...
We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved....
The difficulties of life are intended to make us better. . . .not.....bitter.
Live authentically. Why would you continue to compromise something that's beautiful to create something that is fake ....
If you put your hand into a fire, does anyone have to tell you to move it? Do you have to decide? No: When your hand starts to burn, it moves. You don’t have to direct it; the hand moves itself. In the same way, once you understand, through inquiry, that an untrue thought causes suffering, you move away from it.
"The foolish one addresses me with words of disgrace, but I hate to respond to him in a similar manner. The more ignorant he proves, the more patient I become. Just like the incense; the more it's burnt, the more it releases its fragrance."
A soft nature of a person doesn't mean weakness...remember,nothing is softer than water....but,its force can break d strongest of rocks....
Like the tides of an ocean, the tides of life are perpetually changing. At times life is stormy; at other times life is calm. At times everything appears to blossom; at other times even-thing appears dismal. Human conditions never remain the same. Poet Iqbal says: Serenity is difficult in the workings of fate, , Change is the only stable thing in time.
Human nature, at its best, had always been based on a deep heroic restlessness, on wanting something--something else, something more, whether it be true love or a glimpse just beyond the horizon. It was the promise of happiness, not the attainment of it, that had driven the entire engine, the folly and glory of who we are.
At times you fall so hard, that no one even hears the sound of you hitting the ground. The world smiles around you, it laughs and rejoices and that is the moment when you realize that nobody cares except Allah. At such times, you get up, wipe your tears and gather your slipping Tawakkul, hoping Allah would bless you with the same things soon that you will be happy with Him and He will be happy with you.
Don’t care if one piece doesn’t fit; either you will find the right one, or you can just move on to another part of the puzzle, perhaps the orange-tinged leaves of the tree in the picture and you will be able to find one piece at a time, when it’s time for you to find it.
What looks like garbage from one angle might be art from another. Maybe it did take a crisis to get to know yourself; maybe you needed to get whacked hard by life before you understood what you wanted out of it ....
No one else has access to the world you carry around within yourself; you are its custodian and entrance. No one else can see the world the way you see it. No one else can feel your life the way you feel it. Thus it is impossible to ever compare two people because each stands on such different ground. When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting envy into your consciousness; it can be a dangerous and destructive guest.
Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.
I can’t really act the way I want to act, or say what I want to say all the time. And a lot of times, I cover that up with a smile.
How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.
Don’t try to make life a mathematics problem with yourself in the center and everything coming out equal. When you’re good, bad things can still happen. And if you’re bad, you can still be lucky.
Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
It's not at all hard to understand a person; it's only hard to listen without bias..
Sensitive people usually love deeply and hate deeply. They don't know any other way to live than by extremes because their emotional thermostat is broken.
You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you ...
A mathematical formula for happiness:Reality divided by Expectations.There were two ways to be happy:improve your reality or lower your expectations ...
Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.
You may believe it is your friend that is comforting you, but in reality, it is Allah (swt) who sent you that friend. Perhaps that one word was what you needed to uplift you. Perhaps your friend told you a joke that helped to get your mind off things. Perhaps that person who you met seemingly out of nowhere and recommended a certain class for you was what brought you closer to Allah (swt).
Whether people speak evil of you, in your presence or behind your back, or they do evil to you in either of those ways, all is known to Allah Almighty. It is not for you to punish. Your best course is not to do evil in your turn, but to do what will best repel the evil. Two evils do not make a good.
Pain is not the same as suffering. Left to itself, the body discharges pain spontaneously, letting go of it the moment that the underlying cause is healed. Suffering is pain that we hold on to. It comes from the mind’s mysterious instinct to believe that pain is good, or that it cannot be escaped, or that the person deserves it.
THE WISE WOMAN'S STONE
A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.
"I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what "you" have within "you" that enabled "you" to give me the stone".
I've learned, that not all worth is measured by price. I've found so many gems that didn't cost me much.....
Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.
People will always have opinions about your decision because they're not courageous enough to take action on their opinion.
We ALL have our story. Others have theirs. We NEVER know. We have to treat others with the benefit of the doubt, with courtesy, with compassion, with respect.