my favourite's

Friday, 29 August 2014

Maybe if you could name the wound, you could begin to heal. But what about the nameless kind? What about the nameless kind?

"At the moment," she said, lifting her head slowly. "I can describe pain. I can draw you the very intricacies of its' inescapable clutches. I can use insufficient human language to explain what it feels like to lose a piece of every single memory or feeling you've ever had. I can describe the wound of loss. But, I'm sorry. I can't tell you about healing. Not because I don't want to. But, because I don't know what it feels like yet."

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Wisdom in asking forgiveness!

She's one of my best friends. We grew up together and schooled together. We have been together in trying moments and we have shared countless times of joyous moments.

As we grew up the love I had for her was so much that I feared of losing her friendship. I wasn't jealous of her having other friends but I feared she might choose the wrong ones or others could misguide her. Perhaps I thought a little too much about myself.

Gradually her presence with us limited because her new school. We missed her, especially I did. I watched her make friends. Perhaps my overprotective thoughts labeled them as bad friends. They didn't wrong me but we aren't free from assuming and judging. I took a front seat pretending I didn't see or hear them but I was perfectly aware of their presence at the back seat if the bus or the class.

'Let her go, we don't belong to her world.' I have told several times comforting other friends of my gang. But within me, I knew I couldn't let her go. Her bond was something that couldn't be forgotten even after knowing that she has her rights to choose her friends.

But we didn't split completely from each other. We had contacts. We spoke and we laughed but deep down, there was a feeling that 'we are JUST friends.'

Time ran fast. All of us got engaged with responsibilities. Different paths, different destinations and different desires. All of us had our own struggles to deal with.

Then at a point, the circumstance forced to break our silence. It made me express what it really looked like. The love for her took turns toward rudeness.

From then, I never heard from her. I heard about her, true but not from her. Anyhow, my thoughts remained the same. She was within the circle of my best friends. Recalling her memory wasn't painful, for my love for her remained the same. 

Perhaps it's because I didn't write to her to hurt her, but to express that all of us had reasons, same like her.

But I didn't realize that I was wrong, being harsh is not right. I didn't realize I cannot dictate a friend whether I have all reasons to be so. Simply I didn't believe my sarcastic letter was a shameful act, until I received an email from her, a half decade later.

I smiled with joy, embracing her virtually. She asked to forgive her, forget what happened between us and accept her as before. I had no reason why I shouldn't be happy at that point.

Today we are best friends, once again, alhamdulillah. Today we live as nothing had happened. Like those childhood days, we have no reason to hold grudges. But, now and then I realize how wrong I have been to hurt my best friend. If I truly loved her, I would have tolerated without bragging about the things I did as a friend. 

I wouldn't have written a letter pointing out her faults. I wouldn't have had 'no guilt' feeling. Living as 'you are wrong, I pointed you out but I have no grudges upon you' is no different from saying 'You wronged me yet I forgave you because I'm the best.'

Her approach had turned the tables. It had made me regret. It had left me understand how arrogant I had been. If she was wrong, I should have approached in the best manner with love. Not in a manner of insulting.

I know, I haven't meant to insult her. I know I have always wished for her best, yet now after her humble approach it has left me with regrets.

This is the lesson I learned from my best friend. Asking forgiveness for the sake of Allah has brought peace, real peace between us. With no doubt I agree, that has been a turning point in my life. That has helped me understand how arrogant I had been.

Relationships are a rizk from Allah. What is meant for us will be ours. Perhaps our bond was not meant to be broken forever, alhamdulillah. But it is she whom Allah chose to mend the relationship, the wrong person in my point of view, then. Asking forgiveness won't lower your status. Today she is one step ahead of me.

It is the power of forgiving and asking forgiveness, it can heal wounds that you thought never existed!

How foolish is society,
Today they laugh at you
Yet they fail to realise,
Tomorrow they will be laughed at.
The mob is fickle when it is free of morality and justice.

Those who do not fear the Day
When every atoms worth of deeds will be discussed,
Then how can you expect them to fear mistreating simple souls?
The mob is fickle.

I never wanted much,
A simple life,
And peaceful heart,
With a safe hand in which to place my own.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

When people suffer from depression their whole world feels dark. No matter how much wealth, status, external validation, awards and fame they acquire they still feel worthless and they want to escape the pain of their sadness. It is truly tragic when family members are completely oblivious of the pain and loneliness that their loved ones feel.

It's not about having low or high iman. Someone could have high iman but they have a chemical imbalance which leads to depression or other mental illnesses. Iman can help in the process of recovery. Depression does not mean you have low iman.

It is sad when people are ignorant about mental health and make insensitive statements.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

The night has robbed me of my sleep,
Lying silently with thoughts of this slippery decline;
When did the world decide some have greater right to life?
When did the rest decide they did not care,
That they wished to live blinded by ignorance?

So silence prevails,
In the wake of such evil.
The thieves of my sleep have robbed me deeply;
My heart weeps tears of despair,
Where is the hope amidst such atrocities?
And then I find,
With each tear that falls,
My lips utter prayers -
My hope is Greater than this sense of desperation,
Justice is His Promise, and never does He fail.


And we forget the ones that give without hope of any return...

"Love can heal"
So they say,
How can that be, when love seems paired with pain?
Love of the deepest kind,
The one that establishes bonds beyond mere superficial existence,
That love can heal;
It can make past pains disappear,
Leaving only hope of tomorrow's joy.

Then I found myself,
With this emptiness in my heart,
A longing that remained,
A void that could only be filled with what the heart seeks,
And so, I began to call upon You,
Hoping that this emptiness would leave,
That this void would become complete,
And then I found myself enraptured in the calling more than the need,
And so as my heart became settled,
You Answered my call,
Giving me all that I wanted,
And so much more.
That day I wept -
Tears so overcome with fear -
I don't want to lose this love that I've found;
This calling upon You.