Dont let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life. . . . . . .Relationships work best when they are balanced. . . . .



How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score?
Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly man who cannot open the door by himself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves.
There remains but two choices—help or ignore.
Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days.
But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket.
Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!

Think about that 


There are days when I feel so bad thinking why we behave like we do sometimes - we never forgive the people around us.
Leave alone unfair conduct, we never even excuse any mistake, any blunder, or slip-up that anyone has had the misfortune to perform against us. The 'me' inside us feels slighted, injured, and swells up to much proportions it spills out of our beings insulting, disparaging, and sullying the name of the poor gaffer even though he or she might not have really meant it.

One mistake leads to an ugly reaction forming a continuous chain of repulsive behavior that vilifies not just the two involves but all those around them. All because we lack patience to bear any blow to our 'me'.
At such moments why do we choose to forget the example set by our Prophet (sallalahu aliehi wassalam) not once but on innumerable occasions: the old woman whose hatred for him made her throw garbage on his head every day and yet he visited her when she was sick; his welcoming with open arms sworn enemies who tried to kill him many times; his forgiveness to Jew who put a spell on him with his daughters and caused him a huge amount of pain and sickness; most of all the exoneration of all the kuffar of Makkah when that beloved place was conquered
near the end of his life.
Did Rassulullah not feel sorrow at being declared an outcast, or frightened at being persecuted? Or was he not able to retaliate by word or action? Indeed he was most eloquent of all people and most brave so he could have done both but he did what he knew
was loved by his Lord - forgive.

F-O-R-G-I-V-E a seven letter word, not easy mind you:), but if we bring this little word into our lives with the hope
that the Lord will bring it to His exalted lips on our last days, is too much to ask for? hmmm????


Something interesting—and quite disheartening—I’ve come to realize is that although we are surrounded by nature’s beauty, we fail not only to appreciate it, but we complain about it too. We reprimand its existence instead of giving our thanks to the One who has honored us with its presence. From these observations, something that I have learned is: we are never satisfied.
Have you noticed that regardless of what the weather may be—whether it be a damp spring morning, a blazing summer day, a breezy autumn evening, or a frosty winter night—we are always dissatisfied?


I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it's given from the heart. When people are talking, there is no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don't value ourselves or our love enough to know this.

It has taken me along time to believe in the power of simple saying, "I am so sorry", when someone is in pain. And meaning it.

One of my friends told me that when she tried to tell his story people often interrupted to tell her that they once had something just like that happen to them. Subtly her pain became a story about themselves. Eventually she stopped talking to most people.
May be these lines depict his feelings...

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen.
Not to talk or do-just hear me.



It was just too lonely. We connect through listening. When we interrupt what someone is saying to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care.

The Prophet (Peace be up on him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other.

I have even learned to respond to someone crying by just listening. In the old days I always tried to inquired a person whose eyes were wet, I used to reach for tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief.
Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them.


We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

This simple thing has not been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was very young.

I thought people listened only because they were too timid to speak or did not know the answer.

A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words. 

"The first duty of love is to listen"
Remember me in your dua,
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