Wisdom in asking forgiveness!

She's one of my best friends. We grew up together and schooled together. We have been together in trying moments and we have shared countless times of joyous moments.

As we grew up the love I had for her was so much that I feared of losing her friendship. I wasn't jealous of her having other friends but I feared she might choose the wrong ones or others could misguide her. Perhaps I thought a little too much about myself.

Gradually her presence with us limited because her new school. We missed her, especially I did. I watched her make friends. Perhaps my overprotective thoughts labeled them as bad friends. They didn't wrong me but we aren't free from assuming and judging. I took a front seat pretending I didn't see or hear them but I was perfectly aware of their presence at the back seat if the bus or the class.

'Let her go, we don't belong to her world.' I have told several times comforting other friends of my gang. But within me, I knew I couldn't let her go. Her bond was something that couldn't be forgotten even after knowing that she has her rights to choose her friends.

But we didn't split completely from each other. We had contacts. We spoke and we laughed but deep down, there was a feeling that 'we are JUST friends.'

Time ran fast. All of us got engaged with responsibilities. Different paths, different destinations and different desires. All of us had our own struggles to deal with.

Then at a point, the circumstance forced to break our silence. It made me express what it really looked like. The love for her took turns toward rudeness.

From then, I never heard from her. I heard about her, true but not from her. Anyhow, my thoughts remained the same. She was within the circle of my best friends. Recalling her memory wasn't painful, for my love for her remained the same. 

Perhaps it's because I didn't write to her to hurt her, but to express that all of us had reasons, same like her.

But I didn't realize that I was wrong, being harsh is not right. I didn't realize I cannot dictate a friend whether I have all reasons to be so. Simply I didn't believe my sarcastic letter was a shameful act, until I received an email from her, a half decade later.

I smiled with joy, embracing her virtually. She asked to forgive her, forget what happened between us and accept her as before. I had no reason why I shouldn't be happy at that point.

Today we are best friends, once again, alhamdulillah. Today we live as nothing had happened. Like those childhood days, we have no reason to hold grudges. But, now and then I realize how wrong I have been to hurt my best friend. If I truly loved her, I would have tolerated without bragging about the things I did as a friend. 

I wouldn't have written a letter pointing out her faults. I wouldn't have had 'no guilt' feeling. Living as 'you are wrong, I pointed you out but I have no grudges upon you' is no different from saying 'You wronged me yet I forgave you because I'm the best.'

Her approach had turned the tables. It had made me regret. It had left me understand how arrogant I had been. If she was wrong, I should have approached in the best manner with love. Not in a manner of insulting.

I know, I haven't meant to insult her. I know I have always wished for her best, yet now after her humble approach it has left me with regrets.

This is the lesson I learned from my best friend. Asking forgiveness for the sake of Allah has brought peace, real peace between us. With no doubt I agree, that has been a turning point in my life. That has helped me understand how arrogant I had been.

Relationships are a rizk from Allah. What is meant for us will be ours. Perhaps our bond was not meant to be broken forever, alhamdulillah. But it is she whom Allah chose to mend the relationship, the wrong person in my point of view, then. Asking forgiveness won't lower your status. Today she is one step ahead of me.


It is the power of forgiving and asking forgiveness, it can heal wounds that you thought never existed!


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