~True Belief Never Goes Vain~
Fathima Besuna Sadiki
All rights reserved@Allah’s presence
There is a reason behind every single thing. I am sick for last three months and I am wondering all the time “why?” because not a single doctor could find out what exactly it is with me that makes me vomit. They did every single test to diagnose yet all reports came back normal. Not a single mouthful digested not even water stayed down. I suffered a lot. I don’t know if anyone could bel
ieve if I say I lived a whole three months on saline with the blessings of ALLAH. Only thing I could eat was one banana per day. I say Alhamdhulillah for that too. I had no strength to stand; I fainted so often; always needed someone to hold me.
First weeks during my sickness all were so worried and tried hard to look after me and they really took care of me as they can’t live without me. I was really happy to have such people around me Alhamdhulillah! Then when it came to months and still I was not well, besides my sickness had grown and I was fully weak both physically and mentally; I saw people moving away from me. They saw me as headache. I must say not all but some. There are lots till caring about me making heartiest dhuas for me. Some tried to take me to healers I strictly refused saying “ALLAH is there for everything” some scared to visit me thinking a ‘jinn’ may be within me, and my house is haunted because it’s a new one, and some said “ah she is acting… she is acting to take attention..” those words made me stressed so that took me to mentally ill kinda type Subhanallah! Could one can really act with her health? I don’t know, but I can’t because I know ALLAH is watching us.
I was admitted in the hospital several times yet with no positive result. Eventually they sent me to the psycho patients ward subhanallah! I can’t express my feeling while entering to that ward, still my family members don’t know about that except my husband. After having a chat with me the psychologist decided that I am not a psycho patient but I am a depressed patient I need not be admitted there yet have to take medicine which he prescribed and asked me to have them at least for six months, if not I’ll be a one among those patients. It was the day of Eid-ul Adha, I cried not in front of him but alone I pleaded ALLAH; why this happened to me? Why the doctors say so? Why my health deteriorates? When the clock struck 12 o’clock I saw my husband entering to the ward. He saw me crying and I said: “I want to go home; I can’t stand it here anymore; please take me home” but doctors refused. We hid all those things from our own family. We do not want to bother them on the day of festival. Especially I can’t see my dad and my entire family suffering and see me with commiserative eyes.
First weeks during my sickness all were so worried and tried hard to look after me and they really took care of me as they can’t live without me. I was really happy to have such people around me Alhamdhulillah! Then when it came to months and still I was not well, besides my sickness had grown and I was fully weak both physically and mentally; I saw people moving away from me. They saw me as headache. I must say not all but some. There are lots till caring about me making heartiest dhuas for me. Some tried to take me to healers I strictly refused saying “ALLAH is there for everything” some scared to visit me thinking a ‘jinn’ may be within me, and my house is haunted because it’s a new one, and some said “ah she is acting… she is acting to take attention..” those words made me stressed so that took me to mentally ill kinda type Subhanallah! Could one can really act with her health? I don’t know, but I can’t because I know ALLAH is watching us.
I was admitted in the hospital several times yet with no positive result. Eventually they sent me to the psycho patients ward subhanallah! I can’t express my feeling while entering to that ward, still my family members don’t know about that except my husband. After having a chat with me the psychologist decided that I am not a psycho patient but I am a depressed patient I need not be admitted there yet have to take medicine which he prescribed and asked me to have them at least for six months, if not I’ll be a one among those patients. It was the day of Eid-ul Adha, I cried not in front of him but alone I pleaded ALLAH; why this happened to me? Why the doctors say so? Why my health deteriorates? When the clock struck 12 o’clock I saw my husband entering to the ward. He saw me crying and I said: “I want to go home; I can’t stand it here anymore; please take me home” but doctors refused. We hid all those things from our own family. We do not want to bother them on the day of festival. Especially I can’t see my dad and my entire family suffering and see me with commiserative eyes.
From the beginning my cousin sister used to tell me “try unnani medicine, you will find relief with help of ALLAH!” So at last we, me and my husband decided to go for that. We found a Hafees from Digana, Sri Lanka who is a unnani doctor plus a Hafees, he mostly uses Qur’anic medicines which our Prophet Sallallaahu alahi wasallam said and did. He gave several handmade liquid medicines but no positive result was seen. He too worried and he suggested us to go for ‘cupping’ yet he said he can’t do it now because I am that much weak to do so but he did ‘dry cupping’ Alhamdhulillah my vomiting has stopped but till I can’t eat heavy foods as rice and all but Alhamdhulillah All praise to ALLAH alone for what I am now. In sha ALLAH for complete recovery I have to face for a complete cupping after a month. Till then I have to take rest and not to stain myself for anything and no hard work because I am that much physically weak.
From the beginning; to now I never forget ALLAH is with me. I knew and know HE is testing my Sabr. “Innallaaha Ma’as Saabireen”. HE does so because HE love HIS, this slave… that’s how I believe. What ever happened I never gave up my prayers. Yes there was a time I was not able to stand up with my feet so I used a chair to make contact with my Rabb and can you believe there was a time that I couldn’t sit in a chair either, so I sat on the ground and performed my salah. And sad to say I missed several prayers because of the dosage. I started hating people and I stopped talking with them. I sat sat on the ground and talked with my Rabb. I said every single feeling of mine to HIM. I did zikr mostly “ La’ilaaha Illah anta subhanaka inni kunthu minal lalimeen!” My Rabb kept me safe even without food, how Merciful HE is Subhanallah! I survived Because of my true believe in ALLAH and my beloved ones dhuas. There is no greater medicine than dhuas. Alhamdhulillah now I feel quite better and as per to the Hafees In sha ALLAH, have to wait another month for complete recovery if ALLAH wills.
I still didn’t find any answers for my “why’s” yet ALLAH taught me better lessons out of it. That’s why they say everything happens for the greater good. HE showed me what kind of people are around me, how they change, who is real and who is fake. Most of all HE taught me what is dhunya, how Powerful my Rabb is. Now I really don’t care about the month no matter if it increases for another year I know ALLAH is with me. The Better PLANNER. What else one need in this dunya than Rahmath of ALLAH! If not today I’ll be alright tomorrow because I know True Belief Never Goes In Vain. “HasbhiALLAHU Wa’ni;hmal Waqeel”.
From the beginning; to now I never forget ALLAH is with me. I knew and know HE is testing my Sabr. “Innallaaha Ma’as Saabireen”. HE does so because HE love HIS, this slave… that’s how I believe. What ever happened I never gave up my prayers. Yes there was a time I was not able to stand up with my feet so I used a chair to make contact with my Rabb and can you believe there was a time that I couldn’t sit in a chair either, so I sat on the ground and performed my salah. And sad to say I missed several prayers because of the dosage. I started hating people and I stopped talking with them. I sat sat on the ground and talked with my Rabb. I said every single feeling of mine to HIM. I did zikr mostly “ La’ilaaha Illah anta subhanaka inni kunthu minal lalimeen!” My Rabb kept me safe even without food, how Merciful HE is Subhanallah! I survived Because of my true believe in ALLAH and my beloved ones dhuas. There is no greater medicine than dhuas. Alhamdhulillah now I feel quite better and as per to the Hafees In sha ALLAH, have to wait another month for complete recovery if ALLAH wills.
I still didn’t find any answers for my “why’s” yet ALLAH taught me better lessons out of it. That’s why they say everything happens for the greater good. HE showed me what kind of people are around me, how they change, who is real and who is fake. Most of all HE taught me what is dhunya, how Powerful my Rabb is. Now I really don’t care about the month no matter if it increases for another year I know ALLAH is with me. The Better PLANNER. What else one need in this dunya than Rahmath of ALLAH! If not today I’ll be alright tomorrow because I know True Belief Never Goes In Vain. “HasbhiALLAHU Wa’ni;hmal Waqeel”.
Jazahkallahu khair for Hafees Abdul Shukr, and each and every soul who made and still making dhuas for my speedy recovery. May ALLAH keep you all safe and Rewards you the best in this dhunya and Ak’ira as well.
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